I sense an invitation going out – from those of us who’ve been doing inner work for decades, to people new to deep discovery and adaptation.
New concerns for themselves, for their loved ones, and for the world at large are prompting more intense reflections in all sectors of society. In stretching to connect with those who don’t (yet?) speak the language of interiority, I’m inspired to offer some conversation-starters here.
If we’re going to dream a new world into being, from within an ink-dark void of unknowing, resonant with the northern dark of Solstice, I’d like for the dream-incubation to include the highest-vibrating qualities of humanity. Our individual and shared reconception of our world, our lives within it, can emerge from a more potent, clear, timeless reality within.
Meeting in the middle means clearing away obstacles. For humans, that means clearing the pathways for benevolent life-force impulses to emerge. The first task is to recognize emotional reactions, traditionally denied or suppressed, as energetic manifestations of the life force, trying to help us succeed as an organism. The three classic groups of unwelcome feelings are anger, fear, and sadness – all signals of feeling that something we treasure either has been hurt, will be hurt, or has disappeared. One clue that they’re all related, stemming from our own desires, is in the words anger, anxiety, and anguish, all evolved from the word-root angh-, which means a narrowing down. Becoming fully aware of what seems to be narrowing down (what is treasured) can be the beginning of appreciation for the ways anger (hatred, judgment) tries to protect by attacking, fear (greed, jealousy) tries to protect by warning, and sadness (grief, loneliness) tries to protect by honoring what has been valued by emphasizing the importance of its loss. Resting in appreciation for the treasure can restore, even amplify, awareness of the love that has flowed, still flows, through the treasure.
These aspects of the human condition are too vast and maybe currently too overwhelming as conversation starters. So, for this beginning bridge across our disparate life experiences, I’ll mention three interactive layers of self-inquiry that can lead to mutual understanding: conceptual, biological, and multidimensionally interactive.
Conceptual – Neuroplastic: Mindfulness meditation, ideally a way to become more centered, self-aware, and flexible, has become mainstream, with caveats: when thousands of brand-new meditators started these practices, sometimes folks with unresolved traumatic experiences were dropping into inner spaces that made matters worse. In the absence of a trained in-person guide, it can help to have extra anchors for the mind to self-organize around – possibly the heart-mind’s ideal for itself. One version is a chart and guided meditation developed by a neuroscientist who’s also a meditation expert: 12 Strengths for Resilience addresses humans’ core needs, inviting us to feel the most beautiful moments of pure consciousness during the meditation (even a spark, a glimmer) and to extend and embed them in our nervous systems, where they accumulate and become (by way of neural plasticity) our way of being in the world. I’ll list them here in alphabetical order, though he has a much more useful structure on his site: Aspiration, Calm, Confidence, Courage, Gratitude, Intimacy, Learning, Mindfulness, Motivation, Self-Caring, Service, and Vitality. Any one of these words could start a conversation – inside oneself or in connection with someone else.
Biological – Polyvagal: If mindfulness feels too disembodied, it might help to read articles and listen to podcasts about Polyvagal Theory. Getting a visual impression of how our nervous systems generate, receive, and process signals from our experience can enliven our embodied self-sense, amplify the conceptual notions of meditation, enhance compassionate encounters with others, and provide grounding for the depth-level experiments below.
Multidimensionally Interactive – IFS “Parts”: The dynamic process of understanding and working with our energetic “parts” is also becoming more mainstream. Thousands have worked with archetypes and Jung/Assagioli groups, so the idea of having multiple selves isn’t new, but there’s a relatively new way to have an inner-world-altering, felt-sense way of interacting with these varied impulses. Internal Family Systems isn’t about biological families; it’s about the families of sub-characters, or parts we have within us, unconsciously developed to cope with life (protective personae and hidden wounds, still palpable in the body). It’s also about stimulating awareness of a pre-existing transcendent Self already imbued with qualities akin to the 12 Strengths: The 8 Cs of Self are Calm, Clarity, Compassion, Confidence, Connectedness, Courage, Creativity, and Curiosity. Ironic that Curiosity is last in the alphabetic list, since it’s the starting point for the whole process. A good demo of how it works can be found online.
And if self-discovery, inner peace and freedom, and better relationships aren’t enough for their own sake, inner revelations have direct practical applications for decision-making – whether in our lived lives or in the lives of fictional characters we’re writing as they face obstacles, are changed by facing those obstacles, and make new choices in new circumstances. I’ve written several versions of the choice-making grid, which calls up conflicting impulses in a revelatory way, especially helpful now that many of our old choices are up for reconception in a changing global context. The original version is in Quadraphonic Choices, and I’ve started adding, as a centering precursor, Eugene Gendlin’s Focusing to deepen and refresh awareness of all elements of a choice, no matter how small.
I’m looking forward to interacting with long-ago friends newly met, and with people I encounter for the first time along this path.
Photo Credit: Patrick Hendry at Unsplash