Quadrifocal Valentine Lenses

white swan with sunlit feathersUntil just now, the bracelet I received in the fourth grade, the pink roses in the sixth, the first kiss in the seventh, and a couple of high-school-era mega-crushes, would re-arise in memory clouded by a low vibration – a mix of sheepishness and mild irritation that I’d been so susceptible to biology, culture, and emotion, so convinced that all future life would be so extravagant in the same ways. What just happened?

I saw an internet quote about love being a state of being, without object – the spiritual lens. I’ve absorbed and felt this many times before, yet never in the Valentine context. I let awareness of that state of being arise, and from inside it, let the bracelet, roses, kiss and crushes come to mind. This time, I re-experienced the exaltations. The emotional lens was cleansed.

Reveling in this new pleasure, I let decades of intellectual understanding start weaving connections between the new felt-sense and self-sense: Ken Wilber’s exotic blends of psychological and spiritual insight, Stephen Porges’ polyvagal theory, a half-dozen sacred and secular traditions of the transcendent, and, to my delight, my own earlier writing about being awed and appreciative of Nature’s mechanisms for stimulating and protecting the embodied life force. This mental lens is focusing light into the unconscious, relaxing and remaking the physical nervous system and its conditioned autonomic and parasympathetic responses.

Bracelet, roses, kiss and crushes are now glowing, expanding, diaphanous. And a bonus: new lightness in these foundational, self-altering moments is flowing into the more grownup encounters, brightening them so that old symbols and conclusions are emptying, becoming transparent – even as more flowers, jewelry and kisses from later times can come to mind, newly unburdened of wistfulness or reproach. The joys become Present again. In this feeling-state, all objects begin to glow – from the intentionally decorative and significant to the most mundane.

I love floating lit up like this.

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